Ring 1 – Here’s your sign…
Brynna and I went to run errands this morning. We went to Academy and as we entered, we walked in with a man carrying deer antlers. I’m not talking about fake antlers. I’m not talking about antlers that have been taken to a taxidermist and professionally mounted. I’m talking about antlers from a deer he shot recently – maybe this morning on the way to Academy. There was still blood on them. So he walks in carrying his antlers and the girl at the front of the store greets us. I say hello; he says hello. She then asks him, “Sir, is that a return?” Yep. I picked these up last week but they just don’t go with my decor in the Man Cave. Here’s your sign…
(Note – If you’ve never heard of “Here’s your sign…” you have missed out on some key redneck humor compliments of Bill Engvall. Don’t you ever hear people ask things so dumb you just want them to hang a sign around their neck announcing their stupidity?)
Ring 2 – Front row entertainment
After we got home and had lunch, Brynna laid down for a nap. I got some much-needed time to do housework and spend some alone time with God. As usual, God rewards me when I set aside the time to spend with Him. Sometimes the gratification comes days later, sometimes it’s immediate. Today is was instantaneous. I was reading my Bible when the doorbell rang. By the time I got to the door, there was no one there, but I saw a package on my front step. I then noticed a large, brown UPS truck on my front walk. Yes, my front walk. Not on the street in front of my house. Apparently taking a circle around the block was too much to ask. This nice UPS man decided turning the truck around right there was best and ended up perpendicular in the street. I then got to watch him perform a 17-point turn. He inched forward then backward, back and forth until he finally got turned around. What can Brown do for me? Not drive on my lawn.
Thank you, God. I needed a good show!
Ring 3 – Loud
There is really no other explanation for the latter part of the afternoon. After Brynna woke up from her nap, she spent some quality time in her bouncer. You’ve seen these contraptions, right? They hook to a door frame and the child bounces up and down. Well, most children bounce. My child spins. She leans real far to one side and pushes with her feet until she turns around in circles. She thinks it’s a ride. Today she discovered a new trick for her act. As she spun, she made her new favorite sound – a high-pitched squeal that reaches decibels I’m pretty sure most humans can’t hear. When she was facing the room with the higher ceiling, she noticed it made a different sound. So she would spin toward the den and squeal, then spin herself the other direction and squeal. Then she’d laugh, cracking herself up. The problem with the high-pitched squeal is that although some humans can’t hear it, dogs can. Miles came running from the back of the house barking. Each time she’d spin in his direction, he’d jump up like someone was about to attack and his bark was somehow going to save me. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t saved. I was deaf. I’m just now getting the rest of the hearing back in my right ear.
And people say not working outside the home is boring. Nope. I just added a new title. Now I’m a ringmaster.