Bad Hair Season

November 19, 2009

Most people have a bad hair day. But I’m not most people. I don’t do things halfway. I’m an over-achiever. I like to go big or not at all. So why have a bad hair day when you can have a bad hair season – the whole Fall, for example?

A few years ago, I got my hair cut in the cutest little bob you’ve ever seen. I loved it. It was my signature cut. Since my white-blonde hair doesn’t allow much to experiment with in terms of color, I like to play with styles. Ever so often, I cut my hair short then grow it long. Then I cut some bangs, then I chop it all off again. It’s a fun little cycle. When I found out I was pregnant, I started the grow-it-out process. Once I had Brynna, though, I realized it was silly to think that long hair would be easier. And while dealing with this new body that didn’t quite feel like mine, I wanted a fun, short cut that was all me – my bob! The girl who cut the signature bob has moved to New York. I have a nice gent who’s been cutting my hair since she left, but he’s really only maintained the growing out process. I thought maybe it was time for a stylist change. I needed someone who could be fun and creative and not afraid to be a bit edgy. Edgy, however, denotes a cliff nearby and I may have gotten a little close to the side…

I went to a friend of a friend. She cut it short, fun and cute. It wasn’t my bob, but I liked it. It was something new, and only a few months post-pregnancy, it was a fun change. She was a bit expensive, so the next time I went to a new girl in the same salon. I was feeling all free and adventurous, so I took in a picture of a much shorter cut. My only fear was it being too short and looking like a boy. She said she’d modify it a bit and it’d be great. Great it was not. Not only did I not get the cut I went for, it was WAY shorter than the picture and wasn’t textured well. I had to go to the first girl and have her texture it, taking off even more length.

Now I mean no disrespect to anyone, but if one more person says, “You got your hair cut…” If you didn’t know, this phrase does not mean, “Your haircut is cute.” If they thought it was cute, they’d say cute. This phrase means, “I noticed your haircut and you caught me so I have to acknowledge it. I don’t think it’s cute, so I’ll just say You got your haircut…” The only thing worse is when it’s followed by, “It looks like Kate’s hair from Jon & Kate Plus 8.” OMG! Really? My hair looks like the girl who everyone made fun of for Halloween? Awesome. Anyone have a paper bag handy? I need to breathe into it. Or wear it as a hat!

The really bad cut was over a month ago. Today I went to have it trimmed and thinned as it grows out. (If you’ve seen Kate, you know she and I both have thick hair and it tends to become a bit mushroom-like when tucked behind the ear. Yep. I said Kate. Since we HAVE THE SAME HAIRCUT!) Because it was so drastically cut, though, she had to cut it short again to get the layers to grow right. So now…IT’S EVEN SHORTER! I’m going the wrong way. I was scared to look like a boy and now I could pass for my brother.

The moral of today’s story is this – if you see me on the street, just take a picture and tell all your friends you saw a reality-TV star…or my brother, Ryan.

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