David and I have seen a therapist for years. Nine years to be exact. If I could give a gift to the world it would be the freedom to embrace therapy. There’s this unfortunate misconception that it has to be “that bad” to see a counselor. That means that millions of people are walking around each day in various states of sadness, pain, hurt and turmoil because in their minds it’s not yet “that bad.” It brings to mind the picture of a trip David and I took years ago. After a very busy period at work, we planned to spend a few days in Las Vegas. But by the time we got there, the toll of long hours, lack of rest and exhaustion had caught up to me. I was so sick that I barely made it to the room before passing out. Our first night in Vegas, I spent sleeping and David took a walk alone. I hated to ruin our trip, so I tried, but nothing was enjoyable. Casinos, shows, people watching on the strip – things I would normally love were hardly bearable. I was in a cool place but I could only appreciate a shadow of it. My experience was a lesser version of what was intended because my illness held me back from its full potential. It makes me sad to think of so many who aren’t getting to experience the fullness of life – so many families living only a shadow of who they were meant to be. When they don’t have to! With time and NyQuil, I was ready to take on the town. With grace and hard work, our families can thrive instead of just survive.
Getting the Love You Want by Dr. Harville Hendrix has been written, edited, revised and updated since 1988. It’s been used to help millions of couples acknowledge, accept and work through the issues keeping them from experiencing the fullness of their potential. The book is equal parts educational material, philosophy and self-help. It not only tells you WHY your relationship is struggling, but it tells you WHAT to do and most importantly, HOW to do it.
The book is phenomenal not because it’s light reading – although it is surprisingly easy to read. It’s value is in the change possible both in you as an individual and your relationship if you will commit to do the work suggested. Now, just like a gym membership, it’s only as effective as the time you actually work out. (You can’t blame the trainer for your muffin top if you won’t do the sit ups! Believe me. I’ve tried. He laughed at me.) But if you are willing to let some therapeutic light shine on your past, the way you think and how it’s affecting your life, I promise it will change you from the inside out.
Therapy is expensive. Getting the Love You Want is about $13.00 on Amazon — $8.00 if you get the Kindle version! :o)