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Real Mom Confessions

October 9, 2012

1. This is one of my favorite things to watch. (And apparently photograph.)

Yeah, she’s trying to get her pajamas off…

and she turned it into a straight jacket…and she can’t get out.

2. When they start talking about tests and what weeks what happens and baby registries…I feel like the woman in the group who hasn’t had a kid. I know I was pregnant. I have the marks on my a** to prove it. I think I mind-blocked at least 10 months of my life.

3. That doesn’t make me sad. (That I don’t remember at which week they learned which thing after making me pee in a cup for the 73rd time…that day.)

4. Sometimes if the plastic container is too dirty or if I don’t remember what year I put it in the fridge or if I’m afraid the smell of opening it might send the dog into shock, I don’t clean it. I just throw it away.

5. I let her do this for hours even though I knew it wasn’t going to end well. (And it didn’t…end well.)

ps…of all the things I just mentioned, I’m most afraid of the follow up call from my mom about the Tupperware. She’s cringing right now thinking “I know I raised her better than that!”

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