We are not usually the dress-up-for-Easter type. Jesus likes me just as much in my Joe’s jeans, so that’s standard Sunday attire. This year, we went a little old school, though and got dressed up. We even color-coordinated (this information will be important later). Purple was the color of the day. We had a great time at church and then went to lunch.
As is usually her custom, Brynna waited until everyone was settled in the booth with spoon in hand to announce (to the people 3 tables away) that she needed to go potty. Feeling rather descriptive, she added a delightful, “Let’s go poo-poo, Mommy. Hurry.”
Yes, by all means, Let’s! I was just thinking that as I forked my pasta.
We made our way to the ladies room as Brynna explained to passers-by, “I go poo-poo” as though they, too, needed that information to complete their Easter lunch experience. Once in the stall, Brynna sat like a big girl and went potty. It wasn’t the quickest process but she was doing exactly what she’s supposed to, so I patiently waited, trying not to dwell on the fact that my food was cooling more by the minute. Then the show began. Not without her necessary dramatic flair, Brynna started grunting. She grunted so loudly and dramatically that the lady in the next stall began to snicker. This made her laugh, so she too began to laugh. But then the snickering from next door turned to all-out laughing as my lady-like little princess looks at me and loudly declares, “It’s coming, Mommy! Poo-poo’s coming! Here it comes. Are you ready?”
No. I’m really not.
While I attempted to quiet her and hurry the process along, Brynna continued her theatrics. At some point my feet fell asleep from squatting in 4 inch heels but honestly, that was the least of my concerns. Finally, she announced that she was done and wanted to get down herself. As she slid herself to the ground, I caught a glimpse of the bowl behind her. Now, I don’t make it a habit of studying these things, but I have never seen less in a toilet in all my life!
Seriously?! All that showmanship for THIS?!
More importantly: That can’t possibly be everything which means I’m going to get back up at some point and return to this bathroom before I ever get to my fruit tart. Can’t wait.
As we made our way back to the table, a lady glanced over and smiled at me. She looked at my purple dress and then Brynna’s and said, “You two are adorable. She’s your spitting image!”
Lesson learned. When you dress so similarly to someone who is already a miniature version of yourself, you can’t deny that it was your child cheering on her poo when the need arises.
Sidebar – I realize I’ve broken my own rule of speaking publicly about bodily functions. Such is life with a two-year-old.