As greatly therapeutic as writing is for me, it, like every other attempt at self-help, can only go so far. There is only one place that could give me peace that goes beyond my expectation and true joy in place of sadness. After posting last night, I journaled my heart out to God. So often I forget, but prayer is less about me talking and more about LISTENING. After laying all my sadness down, I wrote the words that God spoke to my heart. I would normally never share with anyone what God and I discuss. The pages of my journal are sacred and holy ground just for us. But this, I would like to share. These are the words in red staring back at me…
I am here, baby girl, and I hear you. You are not alone. I understand your sadness but there is hope in knowing all things have a purpose. I have a plan to prosper you and to give you a future. Trust me beyond the hurt. Put your faith in Me – what you can’t see – rather than putting faith in what you see before you.
I don’t know who needs to read these words with me, but write them on your heart. This is how much God loves you. I have talked to my sister most of the day. If not with our mouths, with our hearts. I still miss her so bad it hurts. I still feel a little more lonely. God never said He’d take away the pain. He said He loves me enough to hold my hand and pick me up. He said there is hope after the sadness.
I said last night that therapy makes the heavy things a little easier to bear but after writing, it didn’t feel any lighter. These words from my Father make it lighter. That’s REAL therapy.