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Top Ten Things I Wanted to Say at the DMV

January 23, 2013

10. Hello? Am I invisible? I see me. Can no one else see me?

9. Ma’am, that’s sweet of you to offer, but no, you can’t babysit my daughter.  I just met you. At the DMV.

8. Who do you keep going to with your questions? I want to talk to her. Because I know it’s a “her.”

7. &@$*%!!!!

6. I KNEW it was a “her!”

5. 2 HOURS, 15 MINUTES! (maybe if I yell regular updates of how long I’ve been there it will give perspective and make them move faster. No? You’re probably right. I’d just lose my voice.)

4. No. No, I won’t wait. No, I won’t sit down. No, I won’t take a number.

3. What are the two armed guards for? Are the clipboards that valuable that they need a police escort back to the little metal cart?

2. Dear Lord, make me a bird…so I can fly far…far, far away from here…

And the #1 thing I wanted to say at the DMV…

1. Sir, if your friend has to read the form to you in another language before you can go take the driver’s test, what is your plan for when you get on the road?

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