My mom has always quoted a saying – “If you come to see me, you’re welcome anytime. If you come to see my house, you’ll need to make an appointment.” Those words have always been true at my parents’ house. My mom will be the first to admit the furniture doesn’t all match and the floors are perpetually dirty (an unavoidable side-effect of living in the country). She will also be the first to invite you in, throw an impromptu pool party or have you over for dinner.
A few months ago I started building a new house – not a physical one but this one – realmom.org. If you’ve known me more than 3 minutes you know I am Type-A with a side of OCD thrown in. I am, admittedly, a recovering perfectionist. (Or at least I thought I was recovering. Apparently not. Apparently my problem is alive and well.) I wanted everything to be so exact in this new home, I got lost in the details. And if I’m really, really honest, I wanted it to be perfect for the same reason we want our houses to be perfect before someone visits – I wanted you to be impressed. But that was never the point of this place. I didn’t set out to make something pretty. I set out to make something real (hence REALmom…duh.) The thing about real is that it’s rarely pretty. Real gets dirty; real doesn’t stick to schedule. Real is vulnerable and makes a mess. Real is (waaaayy) less than perfect.
And then I remembered my mom’s saying. Her house may be less than perfect (ie: REAL) but her house is full of love…and that’s REAL. My mom knows what we sometimes forget – pretty stuff is still just stuff. People will know they are loved if you love them. I love you, girls. That sounds silly since we’ve never met face-to-face, but it’s true. God presses you on my hearts and I pray for you and your little ones. I want you to know you don’t have to be perfect to be more than enough.
(Do I think it’s a coincidence that I had to take my perfectionism head on to be able to tell you that? Not at all.)
So this is my new home – realmom.org. And it doesn’t look the way I had planned. It’s not as fancy as I thought it would be; it’s not as pretty in places as I’d prefer. Some of the furniture doesn’t match and the living room is covered in legos. If you came to see a pretty house, you’ll definitely have to make an appointment. This house is less than perfect. But if a little love and encouragement is what you need, if a hug and a good laugh would do you some good, I’ve got more than enough.
So kick off your shoes, make yourself comfortable and look around. You are welcome anytime.