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What I Saw On Late Night Television

October 22, 2013

I don’t watch much TV. I don’t watch anything with Brynna around that I don’t want her to see or hear even in passing, so that limits my Criminal Minds/Bones/NCIS watching to after she goes to bed. Factor in how many evenings I’m so tired once she’s in bed that I quickly follow, and well…it’s an animal house around here, people. A regular party scene.

This weekend I went to a conference all by my lonesome. I met some amazing people, but at the end of the day, when the hotel room door closed behind me, I was gloriously solo! I read and wrote. I prayed and journaled. And then, when I was all worded out (shocking, I know. you thought that never happened to me), I flipped on the television and OH. MY. GOSH.

American Hoggers? This is a show? People watch this? I’m no stranger to the country so the fact that grown people chase pigs around is not the surprising part. That other people WATCH grown people chase pigs. This is where I’m confused.

What’s with all the weird medical shows? Are that many people afflicted with rare, unexplainable diseases or unknown pregnancies (a phenomena I DO NOT understand)? If so, is it so rare? I’m just saying…

Commercials still run? Who knew?!

I feel it’s common television knowledge that boxing should not be featured on HBO in a hotel. I grew up watching boxing. I have no problem with it as a sport. I have a problem that it’s my option on the one weekend I don’t have to fight for the remote. I’m happy to consult if HBO would like. I’ll even agree to stay overnight in a hotel alone (because I need to focus, obviously) to rate their programming choices if that’s the sword I must fall on. I’m just trying to help people improve business…

Seriously with the commercials. I must have turned the volume up 12 times trying to fast forward. Guess what? It didn’t work any of the times.

Let’s talk about Law & Order. Is there anyone in television that hasn’t at least done a cameo? It’s like the song that never ends. It just goes on and on, my friend. On multiple networks!

How am I supposed to BELIEVE in the power of Oxy Clean if you don’t SELL IT!? Poor Billy Mays is turning over in his grave somewhere. These young uns today have so spunk. Not one of them yelled at me, and thus, I didn’t buy one knife set or juicer, and I have no idea what I’m going to do about all those tough stains.

And at this point, I turned off the TV. Or maybe I fell asleep, woke up and THEN turned it off. Either way…I may be dumber for the time spent watching it.

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